Who doesn’t love a good chuckle, especially when it involves our furry, four-legged friends? Dogs bring so much joy and laughter into our lives, often without even trying! Whether tilting their heads in adorable confusion or getting caught in the act of mischief, our canine companions have a way of keeping us endlessly entertained. In this blog post, we’ve gathered a collection of funny dog quotes that capture what it’s like to live with these lovable, quirky creatures. From witty observations about their playful antics to heartwarming humor about their loyal nature, these quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face and warm your heart. So, get ready to laugh and nod in agreement as we explore the humorous side of life with dogs.
1: Funny Dog Quotes About Loyalty
1 “My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip.” — Anonymous
2 “Dogs never bite me—just humans.” — Marilyn Monroe
3 “A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad.” — Robert Wagner
4 “The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.” — Mark Twain
5 “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” — Roger Caras
6 “Happiness is a warm puppy.” — Charles Schulz
7 “If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.” — Anonymous
8 “Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” — Orhan Pamuk
9 “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” — Josh Billings
10 “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” — Charles de Gaulle
11 “If you want loyalty, get a dog. If you want loyalty and attention, get a smart dog.” — Unknown
12 “Dogs leave paw prints on your heart.” — Anonymous
13 “My dog doesn’t care if I’m a little weird. Dogs accept you for who you are.” — Unknown
14 “Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.” — Agnes Sligh Turnbull
15 “Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.” — Kinky Friedman
16 “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.” — Mark Twain
17 “A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” — Anonymous
18 “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” — Mary Bly
19 “Dogs leave paw prints on your heart.” — Anonymous
20 “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” — Johnny Depp
21 “I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.” — Jarod Kintz
22 “Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t even know we had.” — Thom Jones
23 “No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” — Louis Sabin
24 “You want loyalty, get a dog. You want loyalty and attention, get a smart dog.” — Unknown
25 “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” — Roger Caras
26 “Dogs teach us a lot of things, but none more important than how to stop and sniff the roses.” — Anonymous
27 “If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.” — Anonymous
28 “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” — Josh Billings
29 “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” — Marilyn Monroe
30 “The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.” — Jeanne-Marie Roland
31 “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” — Harry S. Truman
32 “My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.” — Unknown
33 “Dogs leave paw prints on your heart.” — Anonymous
34 “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” — Charles de Gaulle
35 “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney
36 “Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” — Orhan Pamuk
37 “Happiness is a warm puppy.” — Charles Schulz
38 “Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take… I’ll be watching you.” — Anonymous
39 “The only person who understands me is my dog.” — Unknown
40 “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.” — Mark Twain
41 “If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” — Will Rogers
42 “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” — Robert Benchley
43 “Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.” — Emily Dickinson
44 “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” — Anonymous
45 “To err is human—to forgive, canine.” — Anonymous
2: Humorous Dog Quotes About Mischief
Dogs are mischievous by nature, and their playful trouble-making often leads to hilarious moments. Here’s a table of funny dog quotes centered on the chaos they bring into our lives.
| 1. “To err is human—to forgive, canine.” | 2. “Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame.” | 3. “My dog does this amazing thing where he just exists and makes my whole life better.” | 4. “Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.” | 5. “If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” |
| 6. “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” | 7. “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.” | 8. “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.” | 9. “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” | 10. “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” |
| 11. If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise. | 12. I wonder if dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. | 13. Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge? | 14. I wonder if my dog dreams about me too. | 15. My dog is an excellent judge of character. If he doesn’t like you, I probably won’t either. |
| 16. “A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well—almost.” | 17. “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.” | 18. “Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.” | 19. “You can trust your dog to guard your house but never your sandwich.” | 20. “The better I get to know men, the more I admire dogs.” |
| 21. “My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.” | 22. “A well-trained dog will not attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” | 23. “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” | 24.”A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” | 25. “If your dog doesn’t like someone, you probably shouldn’t either.” |
1 “To err is human—to forgive, canine.” Anonymous
2 “Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame.” Anonymous
3 “My dog does this amazing thing where he just exists and makes my whole life better.” Unknown
4 “Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.” Franklin P. Jones
5 “If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” Will Rogers
6 “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” Rita Rudner
7 “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.” John Steinbeck
8 “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.” Joe Weinstein
9 “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” Anonymous
10 “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” Mary Bly
11 “If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.” Unknown
12 “I wonder if dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” Rita Rudner
13 “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?” Jerry Seinfeld
14 “I wonder if my dog dreams about me too.” Anonymous
15 “My dog is an excellent judge of character. If he doesn’t like you, I probably won’t either.” Unknown
16 “A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well—almost.” Charlotte Gray
17 “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.” Bill Murray
18 “Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.” Moby
19 “You can trust your dog to guard your house but never your sandwich.” Anonymous
20 “The better I get to know men, the more I admire dogs.” Charles de Gaulle
21 “My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.” Anonymous
22 “A well-trained dog will not attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” Helen Thomson
23 “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” Max Eastman
24 “A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” Anonymous
25 “If your dog doesn’t like someone, you probably shouldn’t either.” Unknown
3: Short and Funny Dog Quotes
Sometimes the funniest things about dogs are their simplest actions. Here’s a list of short, sweet, and humorous dog quotes.
- “Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take… I’ll be watching you.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.” — Agnes Sligh Turnbull
- “Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.” — Unknown
- “Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.” — Kinky Friedman
- “Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love; they depart to teach us about loss.” — Anonymous
- “My fashion philosophy is if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.” — Elayne Boosler
- “In dog years, I’m dead.” — Unknown
- “Dogs do not rationalize. They do not hold anything against a person. They do not see the outside of a human but the inside of a human.” — Cesar Millan
- “I wonder if my dog dreams about me too.” — Anonymous
- “You can trust your dog to guard your house but never your sandwich.” — Anonymous
- “If my dog was a human, he’d be a comedian.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.” — Agnes Sligh Turnbull
- “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” — Harry S. Truman
- “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney
- “Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t even know we had.” — Thom Jones
- “Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love. They depart to teach us about loss.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” — Roger Caras
- “You can trust your dog to guard your house but never your sandwich.” — Anonymous
- “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.” — Mark Twain
- “Dogs never bite me—just humans.” — Marilyn Monroe
- “My dog does this amazing thing where he just exists and makes my whole life better.” — Anonymous
- “If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” — Will Rogers
- “Dogs teach us a lot of things, but none more important than how to stop and sniff the roses.” — Anonymous
- “Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.” — Kinky Friedman
- “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” — Josh Billings
- “Happiness is a warm puppy.” — Charles Schulz
- “Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take… I’ll be watching you.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” — Orhan Pamuk
- “Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.” — Franklin P. Jones
- “I wonder if my dog dreams about me too.” — Anonymous
- “If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.” — Anonymous
- “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” — Robert Benchley
- “If my dog was a human, he’d be a comedian.” — Anonymous
- “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” — Johnny Depp
- “Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.” — Unknown
- “The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.” — Jeanne-Marie Roland
- “The better I get to know men, the more I love dogs.” — Charles de Gaulle
- “Dogs leave paw prints on your heart.” — Anonymous
- “A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” — Anonymous
- “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” — Ben Williams
- “No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” — Louis Sabin
- “Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.” — Emily Dickinson
- “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.” — Mark Twain
- “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” — Mary Bly
- “The only person who understands me is my dog.” — Unknown
- “To err is human—to forgive, canine.” — Anonymous
- “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame.” — Moby
- “Dogs do not rationalize. They do not hold anything against a person. They do not see the outside of a human but the inside of a human.” — Cesar Millan
- “Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.” — Agatha Christie
- “My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.” — Elayne Boosler
- “Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.” — Josh Billings
- “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” — Max Eastman
- “A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” — Anonymous
- “If your dog doesn’t like someone, you probably shouldn’t either.” — Unknown
4: Dog Quotes with Meaning
Here, we’ve included some dog quotes along with their meanings. These quotes are not only funny but also offer deeper insights into the canine-human relationship.
1 The more people I meet, the more I love my dog.
Meaning: Sometimes, dogs are more lovable than people because they’re simple and honest.
2 If there are no dogs in heaven, I want to go where they went.
Meaning: Dogs’ loyalty and love are so pure that even heaven seems incomplete without them.
3 Dogs never lie about love.
Meaning: Unlike humans, dogs don’t fake affection; when they love you, it’s for real.
4 The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Meaning: This highlights the selflessness and kindness that dogs show compared to some humans.
5 The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Meaning: Dogs, in their simplicity and purity, often show more kindness and unconditional love than many people.
6 Dogs do not rationalize. They do not hold anything against a person. They do not see the outside of a human but the inside of a human.
Meaning: Dogs are non-judgmental creatures, caring more about a person’s essence than their external appearance.
7 If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
Meaning: Dogs’ love and loyalty are so strong that even paradise seems incomplete without them.
8 Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.
Meaning: While you can purchase a dog, the genuine love and affection it shows cannot be bought with money.
9 Dogs teach us a lot of things, but none more important than how to stop and sniff the roses.
Meaning: Dogs remind us to live in the moment, appreciate the small things, and enjoy life as it comes.
10 A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Meaning: Dogs are selfless creatures, often putting their owner’s well-being ahead of their own.
11 Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t even know we had.
Meaning: Dogs intuitively sense when we need love and companionship, often providing comfort during tough times.
12 The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.
Meaning: Both dogs and babies are capable of showing love in its most genuine and untainted form, free of expectations or conditions.
13 Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Meaning: This quote humorously compares the immediate loyalty of dogs to the independent nature of cats.
14 If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
Meaning: A funny yet truthful reminder that owning a dog should encourage physical activity for both owner and pet.
15 Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
Meaning: While dogs may only be part of our world, their presence fills our lives with joy and completeness.
16 My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Meaning: Dog lovers know that their clothes are never truly hair-free, but it’s a small price to pay for a full heart.
17 Happiness is a warm puppy.
Meaning: Few things in life can bring the simple, immediate joy that a cuddly dog can.
18 No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.
Meaning: The love and companionship of a dog are priceless and bring a wealth of happiness that material things cannot.
19 Dogs teach us a lot about life, but perhaps their greatest lesson is how to love unconditionally.
Meaning: Dogs show us that love is most powerful when it’s given freely, without expectation or conditions.
20 Dogs leave paw prints on your heart.
Meaning: The impact of a dog’s love and companionship stays with us forever, leaving a lasting emotional imprint.
21 If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and only giving him two.
Meaning: Dogs are often smarter and more observant than we give them credit for, especially when it comes to food.
22 Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.
Meaning: Dogs show their happiness and excitement in ways we can see, especially with their wagging tails.
23 The better I get to know men, the more I admire dogs.
Meaning: This quote humorously expresses the sentiment that dogs, in their loyalty and simplicity, are often preferable to humans.
24 Dogs may not understand every word you say, but they understand every emotion you feel.
Meaning: Dogs are incredibly empathetic and can sense when their humans are happy, sad, or in need of comfort.
25 To err is human—to forgive, canine.
Meaning: While humans may hold grudges, dogs are quick to forgive and forget, showing us what it means to love unconditionally.
5: Cute but Funny Dog Quotes
Sometimes dogs are just too cute to handle—and hilarious at the same time! Here are quotes that blend adorableness with humor.
- “Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take… I’ll be watching you.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.” — Agnes Sligh Turnbull
- “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney
- “You can’t have just one dog, and why would you want to?” — Anonymous
- “The better I get to know men, the more I love dogs.” — Charles de Gaulle
- “Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.” — Kinky Friedman
- “Dogs do not rationalize. They do not hold anything against a person. They do not see the outside of a human but the inside of a human.” — Cesar Millan
- “If you want the best seat in the house, move the dog.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.” — Unknown
- “Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn’t even know we had.” — Thom Jones
- “You can’t have just one dog, and why would you want to?” — Anonymous
- “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney
- “If you want the best seat in the house, move the dog.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one.” — Unknown
- “A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” — Anonymous
- “If my dog could talk, he’d probably still choose not to.” — Anonymous
- “My dog thinks I’m a genius, and I’m not about to correct him.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs are the universe’s way of telling us to stop taking life too seriously.” — Anonymous
- “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.” — Bill Murray
- “My dog is half Beagle, half Golden Retriever. He’ll retrieve anything, but only if he’s in the mood.” — Anonymous
- “If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.” — Will Rogers
- “Happiness is a warm puppy and a cold nose.” — Charles Schulz
- “If my dog doesn’t like you, we probably won’t either.” — Unknown
- “Dogs are the only creatures on earth that love you more than they love themselves.” — Josh Billings
- “Life is too short just to have one dog.” — Unknown
- “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs leave paw prints on your heart forever.” — Unknown
- “I wonder if my dog dreams about me too.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs make life better, and that’s all I have to say about that.” — Unknown
- “Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.” — Kinky Friedman
- “I asked my dog what he thinks of humans. He stared at me and said, ‘They’re alright as long as they keep the treats coming.'” — Unknown
- “Dogs are proof that good things still exist in this world.” — Anonymous
- “When I needed a hand, I found your paw.” — Unknown
- “If dogs could talk, they’d probably be the funniest creatures on earth.” — Anonymous
- “Dogs: because people are disappointing.” — Anonymous
- “You’re not completely dressed until you have dog hair on you.” — Anonymous
- “My dog’s only fault is not being able to talk, but I’m not sure if I really want to hear what he’d say.” — Unknown
- “Dogs bring out the best in us—mostly because they don’t expect much, just love.” — Anonymous
- “A dog can snap you out of any kind of bad mood that you’re in faster than you can think of.” — Anonymous
- “I wish I could be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am.” — Unknown
- “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” — Charles de Gaulle
- “Dogs do not care about our mistakes; they love us no matter what.” — Unknown
- “Dogs have a way of finding joy in the simplest things, which reminds us to do the same.” — Anonymous
- “I think dogs are the most amazing creatures. They give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.” — Gilda Radner
- “Dogs laugh with their tails and love with their eyes.” — Anonymous
6: Sarcastic Dog Quotes
Dogs may not be sarcastic by nature, but we can certainly imagine them being so. Here are some witty dog quotes, complete with meanings.
- “I don’t always bark at nothing… but when I do, it’s 3 a.m.”
- “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and only giving him two.”
- “Ever notice how your dog stares at you like they’re judging your life choices?”
- “Dogs are the perfect example of what family means—they may drive you crazy, but they love you unconditionally.”
- “My dog thinks he’s in charge, but I let him believe it to keep the peace.”
- “Ever notice how your dog stares at you while you’re eating like you’ve betrayed them?”
- “I wish I was half the person my dog thinks I am, but then I wouldn’t have time to pet my dog.”
- “My dog’s face when I leave for work: ‘There he goes again, doing something pointless without me.'”
- “If my dog could talk, I’m pretty sure he’d say, ‘Seriously? You’re wearing that?'”
10.”You think you’re the alpha, but your dog is just letting you think that while they secretly run the house.”
- “I don’t always listen, but when I do, it’s because you’re opening the treat bag.”
- “My dog has convinced me that the vacuum cleaner is the most dangerous thing on earth.”
- “I love how my dog never judges me unless I forget to feed him on time.”
- “My dog loves me unconditionally, but he loves his treats just a little more.”
- “My dog has no concept of personal space, and frankly, I’m okay with that.”
- “My dog barks at nothing all day, but if someone breaks into the house, he’ll probably just wag his tail.”
- “When my dog gives me the side-eye, I know he’s silently judging me for my life choices.”
- “I think my dog believes I work to support his lifestyle.”
- “My dog sleeps 20 hours a day, but somehow he’s exhausted from all the hard work.”
- “I know my dog understands me, but sometimes I think he just ignores me out of spite.”
- “My dog can’t speak, but the way he looks at me when I’m eating says it all.”
- “If you think a dog can’t hold a grudge, try leaving him alone for a few hours.”
- “My dog doesn’t understand why I leave the house without him. I’m making a huge mistake.”
- “I used to be in control of my life. Then I got a dog.”
- “If my dog could talk, I’m pretty sure he’d ask, ‘Why do you keep bringing that cat home?'”
- “The only time my dog listens to me is when I’m holding a treat.”
- “My dog is the only family member who doesn’t talk back, but somehow he’s still the one in charge.”
- “I tried to teach my dog to fetch, but now he just expects me to do all the work.”
- “I trained my dog to do tricks. Now he’s trained me to give him treats for nothing.”
- “I’m pretty sure my dog’s New Year resolves to make me feel guilty for leaving him home alone.”
- “My dog barks at the mailman, but wags his tail for the burglar.”
- “If my dog was a human, he’d be that one friend who always shows up uninvited but you still love having around.”
- “I love my dog because he doesn’t judge me when I eat ice cream for breakfast.”
- “My dog may be a little spoiled, but let’s be honest: he deserves it.”
- “I thought I rescued my dog, but it turns out he’s the one rescuing me.”
- “My dog doesn’t care if I’m rich, poor, or somewhere in between. But he cares if I’m late with his dinner.”
37.”My dog knows more about my emotional state than I do. He’s probably judging my life choices as we speak.”
- “I don’t need an alarm clock. I have a dog.”
- “I never have to worry about being alone because my dog follows me everywhere, even to the bathroom.”
- “My dog doesn’t care about my work deadlines, but he’ll remind me every single time it’s dinner time.”
7: Famous People’s Funny Dog Quotes
Celebrities and famous figures are just like us—they can’t resist a good dog joke. Here’s a list of hilarious dog quotes from well-known personalities.
1 “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx
2 “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.” — Joe Weinstein
3 “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” — Charles de Gaulle
4 “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” — Marilyn Monroe
5 “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” — Harry S. Truman
6 “I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.” — Gilda Radner
7 “If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” — Will Rogers
8 “The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.” — Jeanne-Marie Roland
9 “My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.” — Unknown
10 “Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.” — Emily Dickinson
11 “The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.” — Mark Twain
12 “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.” — Joe Weinstein
13 “Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.” — Emily Dickinson
14 “If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” — Will Rogers
15 “My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.” — Elayne Boosler
16 “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” — Harry S. Truman
17 “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” — Charles de Gaulle
18 “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” — Roger Caras
19 “I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.” — Gilda Radner
20 “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” — Robert Benchley
21 “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” — Johnny Depp
22 “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” — Ben Williams
23 “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx
24 “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.” — Mark Twain
25 “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” — Max Eastman
26 “Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.” — Franklin P. Jones
27 “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” — Marilyn Monroe
28 “Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.” — Josh Billings
29 “A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours.” — Unknown
30 “The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.” — Anonymous
31 “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney
32 “Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.” — Moby
33 “My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.” — Anonymous
34 “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” — Rita Rudner
35 “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and only giving him two.” — Phil Pastoret
36 “Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” — Mary Bly
37 “To enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” — Edward Hoagland
38 “Dogs leave paw prints on your heart.” — Anonymous
39 “The world would be a nicer place if everyone could love as unconditionally as a dog.” — M.K. Clinton
40 “My dog does this amazing thing where he just exists and makes my whole life better.” — Anonymous
41 “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” — Roger Caras
42 “If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.” — Andy Rooney
43 “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” — Franklin P. Jones
44 “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” — Mark Twain
45 “Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul—chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” — Anne Tyler
46 “You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!'” — Dave Barry
47 “If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.” — Will Rogers
48 “A well-trained dog will not attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” — Helen Thomson
49 “Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent.” — Milan Kundera
50 “Dogs never lie about love.” — Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson
Conclusion
We hope you enjoyed this lighthearted romp through our collection of funny dog quotes! These quips and observations remind us of the joy and amusement our canine companions bring into our lives daily. Dogs do more than just fill our homes with laughter; they enrich our lives with unconditional love and countless moments of hilarity. Whether your pup is a mischievous trickster, a goofy goofball, or a sassy furball, their antics are what make life with them so special. Next time your furry friend does something that makes you laugh, remember these quotes and the universal humor they capture. Feel free to share these funny dog quotes with other pet lovers who could use a smile or two. Here’s to our delightful dogs, who always manage to keep our spirits high and our hearts full of laughter!
