370+ Humor Monday Motivation Quotes: Start Your Week with a Smile

Monday mornings can be tough, but adding a dash of humor can turn your day around. If you’re dragging yourself out of bed and dreading the start of the workweek, some light-hearted motivation might be just what you need. Humor Monday motivation quotes are the perfect way to kick off your week with a smile and renewed energy. Whether you’re sharing them with colleagues, posting them on social media, or just needing a little boost for yourself, these quotes blend wit and wisdom to make the transition into Monday a little easier. After all, laughter is the best medicine, especially when facing a case of the Monday blues. So, let’s dive into some of the funniest and most motivating quotes that will get you through the day and set a positive tone for the rest of your week.

Table of Contents

1. Funny Monday Morning Quotes
2. Motivational Quotes with a Twist
3. Humorous Quotes about Work
4. Quotes to Laugh Your Way Through the Week
5. Monday Motivation from Famous Personalities
6. Quotes with a Punchline
7. Witty Quotes to Brighten Your Monday
8. Quotes with Hidden Wisdom
9. Quotes on Overcoming Monday Blues
10. About the Authors of These Quotes

1. Funny Monday Morning Quotes

Start your week with a chuckle! Here are 60 funny quotes that capture the essence of Monday mornings.

1. “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.” – Tom Wilson
2. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.” – Steven Wright
3. “Monday: the day that I begin counting down to the weekend.” – Anonymous
4. “Mondays are for fresh starts… said no one ever.” – Anonymous
5. “Monday morning coffee is just as important as the air we breathe.” – Anonymous
6. “The worst part of my Mondays is hearing you complain about yours.” – Anonymous
7. “Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you, and she likes everyone.” – Anonymous
8. “Just once, I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear… Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.” – Anonymous
9. “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.” – Anonymous
10. “Mondays are the start of the workweek which offers new beginnings 52 times a year!” – David Dweck
11. “Monday, why are you here so soon? Didn’t you get the memo? I need more weekends.” – Anonymous
12. “There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.” – Anonymous
13. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.” – Anonymous
14. “New week, same goal: survive until Friday.” – Anonymous
15. “Monday: nothing a bit of coffee and a lot of quiet can’t fix.” – Anonymous
16. “May your coffee be strong and your Mondays be short.” – Anonymous
17. “Monday is the root of all evil.” – Anonymous
18. “Mondays are the start of the workweek which offers new beginnings 52 times a year!” – David Dweck
19. “Dear Monday, go step on a Lego.” – Anonymous
20. “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” – Anonymous
21. “Monday is a punishment.” – Anonymous
22. “The worst thing about a Sunday evening is knowing that tomorrow is Monday.” – Anonymous
23. “Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities to discover something new, to learn, to love, to laugh, to live.” – Anonymous
24. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.” – Anonymous
25. “It’s Monday. Get a new perspective. Whatever obstacle you’re facing—it’s not permanent.” – Anonymous
26. “There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.” – Anonymous
27. “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.” – Tom Wilson
28. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.” – Steven Wright
29. “Mondays are for fresh starts… said no one ever.” – Anonymous
30. “Monday: the day that I begin counting down to the weekend.” – Anonymous
31. “Monday, why are you here so soon? Didn’t you get the memo? I need more weekends.” – Anonymous
32. “New week, same goal: survive until Friday.” – Anonymous
33. “Monday morning coffee is just as important as the air we breathe.” – Anonymous
34. “Dear Monday, go step on a Lego.” – Anonymous
35. “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” – Anonymous
36. “Monday is a punishment.” – Anonymous
37. “The worst thing about a Sunday evening is knowing that tomorrow is Monday.” – Anonymous
38. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.” – Anonymous
39. “It’s Monday. Get a new perspective. Whatever obstacle you’re facing—it’s not permanent.” – Anonymous
40. “There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.” – Anonymous
41. “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.” – Tom Wilson
42. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.” – Steven Wright
43. “Mondays are for fresh starts… said no one ever.” – Anonymous
44. “Monday: the day that I begin counting down to the weekend.” – Anonymous
45. “Monday, why are you here so soon? Didn’t you get the memo? I need more weekends.” – Anonymous
46. “New week, same goal: survive until Friday.” – Anonymous
47. “Monday morning coffee is just as important as the air we breathe.” – Anonymous
48. “Dear Monday, go step on a Lego.” – Anonymous
49. “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” – Anonymous
50. “Monday is a punishment.” – Anonymous
51. “The worst thing about a Sunday evening is knowing that tomorrow is Monday.” – Anonymous
52. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.” – Anonymous
53. “It’s Monday. Get a new perspective. Whatever obstacle you’re facing—it’s not permanent.” – Anonymous
54. “There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.” – Anonymous
55. “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.” – Tom Wilson
56. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.” – Steven Wright
57. “Mondays are for fresh starts… said no one ever.” – Anonymous
58. “Monday: the day that I begin counting down to the weekend.” – Anonymous
59. “Monday, why are you here so soon? Didn’t you get the memo? I need more weekends.” – Anonymous
60. “New week, same goal: survive until Friday.” – Anonymous

2. Motivational Quotes with a Twist

Motivation doesn’t have to be serious. Sometimes, a little humor can be just what you need to get going. Here are 40 quotes that add a funny twist to your Monday motivation:

61 “I need a day in between Sunday and Monday.” Anonymous

62 “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to it until you get there.” Anonymous

63 “Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day.” Polish Proverb

64 “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” Betty Reese

65 “Mondays are tough only for those people who don’t know how to spend them cheerfully. Get up and have fun today!” Anonymous

66 “You don’t need a New Year’s resolution if you start every Monday as a new beginning.” Anonymous

67 “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe Girard

68 “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” Robin Williams

69 “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” Anonymous

70 “Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities to discover something new, to learn, to love, to laugh, to live.” Anonymous

71 “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.” Anonymous

72 “If you start the week with a positive attitude on Monday, it’ll be a lot easier to fight off negativity the rest of the week.” Anonymous

73 “I must break the bad habit of letting Monday get to me.” Anonymous

74 “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” Maya Angelou

75 “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” Theodore Roosevelt

76 “Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen.” Anonymous

77 “Mondays are tough only for those people who don’t know how to spend them cheerfully. Get up and have fun today!” Anonymous

78 “You don’t need a New Year’s resolution if you start every Monday as a new beginning.” Anonymous

79 “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe Girard

80 “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” Robin Williams

81 “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” Anonymous

82 “Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities to discover something new, to learn, to love, to laugh, to live.” Anonymous

83 “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.” Anonymous

84 “If you start the week with a positive attitude on Monday, it’ll be a lot easier to fight off negativity the rest of the week.” Anonymous

85 “I must break the bad habit of letting Monday get to me.” Anonymous

86 “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” Maya Angelou

87 “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” Theodore Roosevelt

88 “Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen.” Anonymous

89 “Mondays are tough only for those people who don’t know how to spend them cheerfully. Get up and have fun today!” Anonymous

90 “You don’t need a New Year’s resolution if you start every Monday as a new beginning.” Anonymous

91 “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe Girard

92 “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” Robin Williams

93 “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” Anonymous

94 “Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities to discover something new, to learn, to love, to laugh, to live.” Anonymous

95 “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.” Anonymous

96 “If you start the week with a positive attitude on Monday, it’ll be a lot easier to fight off negativity the rest of the week.” Anonymous

97 “I must break the bad habit of letting Monday get to me.” Anonymous

98 “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” Maya Angelou

99 “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” Theodore Roosevelt

100 “Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen.” Anonymous

3. Humorous Quotes about Work

Work doesn’t have to be all serious business. Here are 50 quotes that add a humorous spin to your workday:

1. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
2. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
3. “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” – Stephen Covey
4. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous
5. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates
6. “I am not lazy. I am on energy-saving mode.” – Anonymous
7. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
8. “I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.” – Anonymous
9. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
10. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
11. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
12. “Why do I drink coffee? Because it’s too early for wine.” – Anonymous
13. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones
14. “I work for money. If you want loyalty, hire a dog.” – Anonymous
15. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
16. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Anonymous
17. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
18. “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” – Anonymous
19. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
20. “If I can’t be a good example, at least be a terrible warning.” – Anonymous
21. “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Anonymous
22. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
23. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
24. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
25. “Why do I drink coffee? Because it’s too early for wine.” – Anonymous
26. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones
27. “I work for money. If you want loyalty, hire a dog.” – Anonymous
28. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
29. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Anonymous
30. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
31. “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” – Anonymous
32. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
33. “If I can’t be a good example, at least be a terrible warning.” – Anonymous
34. “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Anonymous
35. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
36. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
37. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
38. “Why do I drink coffee? Because it’s too early for wine.” – Anonymous
39. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones
40. “I work for money. If you want loyalty, hire a dog.” – Anonymous
41. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
42. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Anonymous
43. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
44. “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” – Anonymous
45. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
46. “If I can’t be a good example, at least be a terrible warning.” – Anonymous
47. “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Anonymous
48. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
49. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
50. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen

4. Quotes to Laugh Your Way Through the Week

Laughter is the best medicine, especially when it comes to tackling the week ahead. Here are 60 quotes that will help you laugh your way through Monday and beyond:

1. “I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted paychecks.” – Anonymous
2. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.” – Steven Wright
3. “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.” – Tom Wilson
4. “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.” – Anonymous
5. “Monday is the day that opens up the week for many opportunities to discover something new, to learn, to love, to laugh, to live.” – Anonymous
6. “Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.” – Anonymous
7. “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” – Anonymous
8. “Monday is a punishment.” – Anonymous
9. “The worst thing about a Sunday evening is knowing that tomorrow is Monday.” – Anonymous
10. “I need a day in between Sunday and Monday.” – Anonymous
11. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
12. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
13. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
14. “Why do I drink coffee? Because it’s too early for wine.” – Anonymous
15. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones
16. “I work for money. If you want loyalty, hire a dog.” – Anonymous
17. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
18. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Anonymous
19. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
20. “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” – Anonymous
21. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
22. “If I can’t be a good example, at least be a terrible warning.” – Anonymous
23. “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Anonymous
24. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
25. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
26. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
27. “Why do I drink coffee? Because it’s too early for wine.” – Anonymous
28. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones
29. “I work for money. If you want loyalty, hire a dog.” – Anonymous
30. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
31. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Anonymous
32. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
33. “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” – Anonymous
34. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
35. “If I can’t be a good example, at least be a terrible warning.” – Anonymous
36. “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Anonymous
37. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
38. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
39. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
40. “Why do I drink coffee? Because it’s too early for wine.” – Anonymous
41. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones
42. “I work for money. If you want loyalty, hire a dog.” – Anonymous
43. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
44. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Anonymous
45. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
46. “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” – Anonymous
47. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
48. “If I can’t be a good example, at least be a terrible warning.” – Anonymous
49. “My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Anonymous
50. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
51. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
52. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
53. “Why do I drink coffee? Because it’s too early for wine.” – Anonymous
54. “The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones
55. “I work for money. If you want loyalty, hire a dog.” – Anonymous
56. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
57. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” – Anonymous
58. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” – Sarah Brown
59. “Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?” – Anonymous
60. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

5. Monday Motivation from Famous Personalities

Sometimes, a little motivation from someone famous is all you need to get going. Here are 40 quotes from well-known personalities that will give you that extra push:

1. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
2. “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer
3. “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon
4. “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” – Sam Levenson
5. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
6. “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln
7. “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.” – Henry David Thoreau
8. “The future depends on what you do today.” – Mahatma Gandhi
9. “I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.” – Estée Lauder
10. “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Lou Holtz
11. “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow is our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney
13. “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar
14. “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” – Will Rogers
15. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
16. “It’s not about having time. It’s about making time.” – Anonymous
17. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier
18. “The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra
19. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
20. “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” – John D. Rockefeller
21. “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” – Jim Rohn
22. “Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of success.” – Arianna Huffington
23. “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” – Gary Player
24. “Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
25. “The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.
26. “Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.” – Chris Grosser
27. “I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” – Thomas Jefferson
28. “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow is our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
29. “Success is not how high you have climbed, but how you make a positive difference to the world.” – Roy T. Bennett
30. “Success is not in what you have, but who you are.” – Bo Bennett
31. “Success isn’t just about what you accomplish in your life; it’s about what you inspire others to do.” – Anonymous
32. “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton
33. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
34. “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney
35. “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar
36. “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” – Will Rogers
37. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
38. “It’s not about having time. It’s about making time.” – Anonymous
39. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier
40. “The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

6. Quotes with a Punchline

Sometimes a good laugh is the best motivation. Here are 40 quotes with a humorous twist that will make your Monday a little brighter:

1. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
2. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Anonymous
3. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Anonymous
4. “I told the doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.” – Henny Youngman
5. “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Stewart Francis
6. “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” – Anonymous
7. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
8. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
9. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
10. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Anonymous
11. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Anonymous
12. “I told the doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.” – Henny Youngman
13. “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Stewart Francis
14. “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” – Anonymous
15. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
16. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
17. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
18. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Anonymous
19. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Anonymous
20. “I told the doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.” – Henny Youngman
21. “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Stewart Francis
22. “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” – Anonymous
23. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
24. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
25. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
26. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Anonymous
27. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Anonymous
28. “I told the doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.” – Henny Youngman
29. “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Stewart Francis
30. “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” – Anonymous
31. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
32. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
33. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
34. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Anonymous
35. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Anonymous
36. “I told the doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.” – Henny Youngman
37. “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Stewart Francis
38. “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” – Anonymous
39. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
40. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen

7. Witty Quotes to Brighten Your Monday

Wit and wisdom often go hand in hand. Here are 50 witty quotes that will help you start your Monday with a smile:

251 “I refuse to answer that question because I don’t know the answer.” Douglas Adams

252 “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison

253 “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill

254 “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” Will Rogers

255 “If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” Woodrow Wilson

256 “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Edison

257 “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Mark Twain

258 “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe Girard

259 “I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” Anonymous

260 “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” Betty Reese

261 “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrer

262 “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” Maryon Pearson

263 “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” Benjamin Franklin

264 “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” Vidal Sassoon

265 “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” Anonymous

266 “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” Steve Jobs

267 “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” John Gotti

268 “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Charlie Chaplin

269 “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” Harry S. Truman

270 “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” Mark Twain

271 “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” John D. Rockefeller

272 “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

273 “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

274 “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” Elbert Hubbard

275 “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” Woody Allen

276 “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” Abraham Lincoln

277 “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” Albert Schweitzer

278 “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” Steven Wright

279 “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” Oscar Wilde

280 “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” Steven Wright

281 “The road to success is always under construction.” Lily Tomlin

282 “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” Will Rogers

283 “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” Betty Reese

284 “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” Kyle Chandler

285 “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” Billie Burke

286 “If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” Woodrow Wilson

287 “I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” Anonymous

288 “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” Betty Reese

289 “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrer

290 “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” Maryon Pearson

291 “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” Benjamin Franklin

292 “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” Vidal Sassoon

293 “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” Anonymous

294 “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” Steve Jobs

295 “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” John Gotti

296 “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Charlie Chaplin

297 “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” Harry S. Truman

298 “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” Mark Twain

299 “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” John D. Rockefeller

300 “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

8. Quotes with Hidden Wisdom

Sometimes, humor hides deeper truths. Here are 50 quotes that are not only funny but also offer profound insights into life:

1. “I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Anonymous
2. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
3. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
4. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
5. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
6. “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” – Maryon Pearson
7. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
8. “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” – Oscar Wilde
9. “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
10. “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln
11. “Success is not in what you have, but who you are.” – Bo Bennett
12. “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton
13. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
14. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
15. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” – Woody Allen
16. “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln
17. “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer
18. “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
19. “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
20. “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
21. “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers
22. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
23. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – Kyle Chandler
24. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
25. “If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” – Woodrow Wilson
26. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
27. “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” – Maryon Pearson
28. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin
29. “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon
30. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
31. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
32. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
33. “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” – Harry S. Truman
34. “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain
35. “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” – John D. Rockefeller
36. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
37. “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx
38. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
39. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” – Woody Allen
40. “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln
41. “Success is not in what you have, but who you are.” – Bo Bennett
42. “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton
43. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
44. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
45. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” – Woody Allen
46. “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln
47. “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer
48. “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
49. “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
50. “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

9. Quotes on Overcoming Monday Blues

The Monday blues are real, but these 50 quotes will help you push through and make the most of your week:

1. “Mondays are for fresh starts.” – Anonymous
2. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
3. “The future depends on what you do today.” – Mahatma Gandhi
4. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
5. “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” – Sam Levenson
6. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier
7. “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” – Will Rogers
8. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
9. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
10. “The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra
11. “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis
12. “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Lou Holtz
13. “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton
14. “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Zig Ziglar
15. “If you can dream it, you can do it.” – Walt Disney
16. “Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.” – Chris Grosser
17. “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney
18. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
19. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
20. “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” – John D. Rockefeller
21. “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” – Napoleon Hill
22. “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe
23. “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis
24. “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.” – Henry David Thoreau
25. “Don’t count the days, make the days count.” – Muhammad Ali
26. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that count.” – Winston Churchill
27. “Success isn’t just about what you accomplish in your life; it’s about what you inspire others to do.” – Anonymous
28. “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon
29. “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar
30. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
31. “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton
32. “It’s not about having time. It’s about making time.” – Anonymous
33. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
34. “The future depends on what you do today.” – Mahatma Gandhi
35. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
36. “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” – Sam Levenson
37. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier
38. “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” – Will Rogers
39. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
40. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
41. “The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra
42. “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis
43. “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Lou Holtz
44. “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton
45. “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Zig Ziglar
46. “If you can dream it, you can do it.” – Walt Disney
47. “Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.” – Chris Grosser
48. “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney
49. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
50. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs

10. About the Authors of These Quotes

1. Tom Wilson

Tom Wilson is an American cartoonist, best known for his comic strip Ziggy. His humorous take on everyday life has been enjoyed by readers for decades, making him a beloved figure in the world of comics.

2. Steven Wright

Steven Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer, known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes.

3. Mark Twain

Mark Twain, born Samuel Langhorne Clemens, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. He is widely regarded as one of the greatest American writers of all time, known for his wit and satire.

4. Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde was an Irish poet and playwright. After writing in different forms throughout the 1880s, he became one of London’s most popular playwrights in the early 1890s. Wilde is best known for his sharp wit and flamboyant style.

5. Walt Disney

Walt Disney was an American entrepreneur, animator, writer, voice actor, and film producer. A pioneer of the American animation industry, he introduced several developments in the production of cartoons.

Conclusion

As you navigate the start of another workweek, a little humor can make all the difference. Monday motivation quotes with a dash of humor not only uplift your spirits but also remind you that laughter is a powerful tool to tackle any challenge. These quotes serve as a light-hearted way to approach your goals, encouraging you to embrace the week ahead with a smile. Whether you’re facing a mountain of tasks or just need a quick boost to kickstart your day, these quotes are here to remind you that positivity and humor can be the perfect blend for success. So, the next time you feel the Monday blues creeping in, revisit these quotes, share them with your colleagues, and start your week with a positive mindset. After all, a good laugh might be just what you need to make this Monday your best one yet.